Overthinking...if you dont have this issue you have no idea how tiring it is. every little thing becomes a issue or something your mind just grinds on over and over and over..And you might think ''oh just put your mind to it and forget it..'' that is maybe the most annoying thing anyone can say to a person who overthink..you dont have any idea how hard it is to shut off a thought that you cant shake no matter what you do, yes you might for some hours a day not thinking directly about it..but almost anything you do has some relation to that. that is also one of the main issues AS (asperger) people have. some has maybe found a way to live with it and how to town it down, but that dont mean it works for the other AS person. l wished i could walk the mountain can know it would work for me like it did for the other guy..but to find your own way is so darn hard, and you feel you need help but nobody can really help you and than you might be stuck..and you end up being mentally and clinical depressed or stressed. l have only come to the stressed factor and happily never been depressed not even tiny bit. But my overthinking causes me to be a pray animal in a predator specie world.
the reason i can related to horses so much is because i have the same issues with humans as they have, can i trust you, would you hurt me if i lean in too much? will you trick me into trusthing you so that if you one day ruin that trust im going to never trust you again or i never will fully trust anyone like you again, but at the same time i forgive easily, but i never forget. you think its a ''deal with it and throw it out'' and for me its ''life or death'' issues.
i hate standing with a crowd of people and all we talk about is what drinks we had or who many we dated..and when nothing comes up of interest but i have to be there for politeness or family you tolerate it but inside your dieing..and only way to get any kind of relief is to get to the public bathroom and sit on the toilette for several minutes just to breath..and who want do that in a bathroom? i wish people who dont have these issues could try a tiny bit to se how things are from our point of view. specially when you also is a person who dont tend to speak up when the world is scary and in a panic situation and you end up being seen as cranky or silent or ''well if you dont speak up than its your lose''...i wish you who dont have these issues that you think twice when you se anyone being silent over long time and dont really seem to change his or hers emotion..if they seem to stay ''uninterested'' or whenever they seem to be ''too'' polite, its really going on like a war zone from the inside.
ohh well that was that rant of the day